Effectively, he's now been outside for as long as he was inside. So to speak. And the truly frightening part is that, for me at least, the nine months inside seemed to take forever, whereas the nine months since have just vanished.
So, here then are the Ten Things I've Learned in the Last Nine Months:
1. Sleep. Treasure it. It's a valuable commodity.
2. Likewise time: I can't believe how much of it I used to waste. On selfish stuff. Like, you know, reading...
3. There are worse things in this world than Poo and Vomit.
4. There are also a lot of much nicer things in this world than Poo and Vomit.
5. In order to preserve your sanity, it is possible to buy CD's with Lullaby versions of Radiohead, Queen, Bob Marley, Nirvana, The Beatles and many, many more. I personally recommend all of these...
6. The Wiggley Woo. (Let's all do, the wiggley woo...)
7. Did I mention sleep? Worth mentioning again.
8. Before baby: "We don't need to spend money on all that baby related crap. We'll be fine without it." After baby: "You know, we really need the automatic, egg-shaped, colour-changing nursery thermometer and night-light."
9. If it'll keep him occupied for ten minutes while you go and have a shower, then it's worth spending $120 on a plastic device with loud music and flashing lights.
10. Best. Thing. Ever...
Now back to the writer's festival.